Bargain fits like the proverbial glove

My favorite guy and his pooch chillin' together on the back steps. He's too modest to admit that he's the best bargain hunter in the world, so I'll do it for him.



I love a good bargain.

As winter came to an end a couple of years ago I found a killer sale on a pair of leather gloves. The original price was $30 and I picked them up for $5. I kept them in a safe place for months until I needed them, and they were the best gloves I’ve ever had, especially for driving.

Spring, summer and fall eventually followed and I kept an eye on those gloves. They were on a bookshelf in the downstairs foyer for quite some time and then, well, they weren’t.

I had nothing else to keep my hands warm so I went on a hunt. Ah, there they were but they didn’t look quite so spiffy anymore. Something was amiss. And, there was a tiny hole in the left one, in the palm area.

Turns out someone was carrying lumber from the deck to the basement and he couldn’t find his work gloves. Oh, he has some, but they’re all different and he could only find one of each. It would probably feel weird to wear mismatched work gloves, and with those nice-looking leather ones just sitting around it made perfect sense to put them to use.

When I freaked out a bit over the dusty exterior and the hole, I got this explanation: “I couldn’t find a whole pair of work gloves, and these worked great, and they saved me from getting a splinter. Were those yours?”

After I explained what a steal the gloves were, I think it must have sounded like, “Oh, they were only five bucks, no big deal.” But I was really thinking that a pair of $30 gloves just got a hole poked in them and now I’ll have to get new ones. I had a feeling I wouldn’t run into that kind of bargain ever again.

Boy, was I wrong.

Last Saturday there was an auction. Hours went by but eventually my husband and all the goodies he bought came home. We went through boxes of surprises, and I was thrilled at the good deals all over the kitchen. Then, we hit the mother lode.
“Oh,” he said. “Wow. Would you look at that? A pair of leather gloves.”

He put the like-new pair of brown leather gloves on the table. Then another, and another and another pair. Black ones, brown ones, white ones, red ones. All told there must have been almost 30 pairs of gloves, not all of them leather but most of them new. Cost of the entire box: $7. I had to sit down.

I think he knew I was going to be a pest when winter rolled around and I was going to hold him to his promise to replace my gloves. But neither of us knew just how many would replace that one pair.

I do love a good bargain. And this time I really believe we won’t run into a fantastic bargain like that again, but that’s OK. I think I’m set for a long, long while.

Looney Tunes and a new water heater

I got Sylvester last Christmas, and he watches over me while I work upstairs. He's sporting a God Bless America button and his right paw rests on my printer.


I could hear his voice coming from far away as I worked on a story in the upstairs foyer Tuesday morning. Since it was impossible to make out what my better half was saying, I didn’t pay much attention until the words got louder and much more understandable. The bearer of bad news was standing in the front hallway looking up at me.

I’ll not quote all of what was said here; suffice it to say, though, something serious was going on.

“Well,” he said, “that’s going to cost us about $200. Maybe $300 or more.”

I hadn’t heard any explosions or odd noises so I looked over the banister and waited for the rest of the news.

“Looks like we’ll need a new water heater.” Well, of course we did. The old one was almost two years past its six-year warranty. Golly, it should’ve gone bad much sooner.

After I was through thinking really bad thoughts, I got busy comparison shopping. That took about five minutes and soon the old tank was out and the shiny new one was on its way. That’s when I decided to take a break from worrying about the giant-sized drain hole in the budget and go watch some TV.

I’ve discovered that Looney Tunes is back in action at 11 a.m. every weekday. How cool is that? I can’t get upset when I’m watching Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam fight to win a mayoral election only to have it end up with both fine candidates losing. Tweety Pie and Sylvester followed that with a tale of the poor cat joining a 12-step program to help rid him of his addiction to birds. That didn’t go well either, and I could sympathize a little bit. I’d fail any program that tried to separate me from chocolate. Not going to happen.

Cartoons ended and that’s when we gathered for a brief lunch. One of the guys was studying for college finals, and the other had a water heater to install. And here’s what I find so funny about this type of thing: The new appliance arrives, and you think you have all the parts and fittings and what-not, but you don’t. That will take maybe three or four trips back to the store (and with the price of gas, you can tack on even more money to the cost), and Voila! Ten hours later we had hot water and everyone, especially the plumber, was tired but happy.

I did find out a few things. One, cold baths aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. Two, most of us take ordinary things like hot water for granted. And three, while having a water heater poop out on us wasn’t a good thing, it wasn’t the end of the world either.

One very special note: Congratulations, son, on your graduation today. Your dad and I could not possibly be more proud of you.

These ladies have class

This picture was taken at Tremont and First streets in Kewanee. Our little group has traveled this road many times on the way to meet for lunch or breakfast. I'm blessed to have these ladies, and I do mean ladies in my life. They've taught me a lot, all good things, and I hope to keep learning from them for a long time.


Our little group of eight met this week for breakfast at a local place. We used to have more regulars; some have passed away and some have simply drifted away. It’s the kind of group where no one scolds you for not showing up once a month but we do let each other know they will be missed.

I’m the secretary and card-sender here, and honestly, though it’s a volunteer position they should fire me. I get caught up in work and other stuff and I forget to do my job. On this particular morning I even forgot the recording book. The leader just laughed it off and told everyone the next time I’d probably have to read a couple of months’ worth of entries. I think she expects me to forget it in June too.

We usually meet for lunch in town. We have lunched in Galva, Bishop Hill, Galesburg and at Tanner’s Orchard. No matter where we gather, most of the ladies have many things in common.

Looking around the table I noticed the matching clothes and jewelry, from earrings and necklaces to rings, bracelets and brooches. They wear makeup, including lipstick, and their hair is beautifully done. These women care about their appearance and it shows.

When we get together we talk about current world events, news around town and what’s happened to us or our loved ones since we last met. If you sit near us you won’t hear mean-spirited gossip or cursing because these gals have class.

I watched as they laughed and ate and listened intently to one another. It’s refreshing to be with people who don’t lament over the menu items and complain about what they can and can’t have. Orders were placed for eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuits and gravy – you name it, and one of us probably ordered it. And we enjoyed every bite.

At our ages we’re well aware that time is precious. There are some that travel but most everyone finds a way to get out and about often. We’ve met in the dead of winter and on the hottest summer days, and once the weather talk is over we find other things to laugh and talk about and we leave feeling happy and full and looking forward to the next month.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I joined this Red Hat group. They’ve turned out to be some of the kindest and fun-loving people I’ve ever met. They have an inner strength and even when their world has been rocked, they don’t cower or complain. I found tender-hearted tough women here and I’m learning a few things.

I do like to throw them off base now and then. While we finished breakfast that morning I noticed a news story on the television across the room about a woman running down an interstate and the headline said she wasn’t wearing any pants. As their attention turned toward the story, I watched the news sink in and the laughter rippled up and down the long table. We left the restaurant that day in good moods, ready to head out and tackle whatever Life had in store.

I’m thankful for many things, and this group is one of them. Our leader said before we left, “We sure know how to have fun, don’t we?” Yeah, Marilyn we do. Thanks for welcoming me in all those years ago, and I promise you this: I will bring my book next time. But maybe you should give me a call, just in case.

Cleanup in aisle 7!

Not sure why I'm using a barn to illustrate this piece - I just like it. Come to think of it, if Mr. Potty Mouth feels like lobbing more f-bombs he could just mosey on into the barn and let fly. That would be better than *bombing* the Easter aisle at Walmart. Just sayin'.


Gee it’s weird how some things just come together, even though I’d rather they didn’t.

I made out a small grocery list the other day with plans to shop after work. Well, work took a bit longer than usual so I rushed back to Kewanee to get food to cook for supper. (Note to police: I definitely was not speeding.)

It was a Monday, a real one, and I was exhausted. The thought of grocery shopping, then cooking. made me not only a tad cranky and kind of spacey. That’s the excuse I’m using to explain how I got side-tracked and landed in the half-off Easter candy and basket aisle. Which, by the way, wasn’t too far away from the Mother’s Day stuff and that connection will come up soon enough.

List in hand I stood glassy-eyed in front of marked-down chocolate bunnies. Seems like there were an awful lot of white and dark-chocolate bunnies left over, so I put them in the same category as those of us who never got picked first for sports teams in grade school.

My mood was lightening as I perused the sweet bargains in front of me when all of a sudden a bomb went off. I couldn’t believe my ears so I turned ever-so-slightly to my right and found the source of the explosion.

The type of bomb here is commonly called an “f-bomb” and oddly enough some folks are proud of their ability to lob them anytime and anywhere they wish. This guy would fit quite comfortably into that category.

I felt dark clouds gathering inside the store as my mood went south. Here we both were, standing in an aisle that was at least half dedicated to that glorious time of year that brings flowers, warm sunshine, candy, special church services and giant fluffy rabbits. If I was six inches taller I might have told Mr. Potty Mouth what I thought of his behavior but I’m not so I didn’t. Instead I put down the candy and wheeled to another aisle.

Well, what do you know? Two aisles over we met up again, and there were three more f-bombs. Less than five minutes later we passed one another again and the guy was spewing forth more foul language. (Actually, it seems the only swear word he knows is That One.)

When I got home I was not in a good mood. I ripped open a box of fish filets, dumped them on a baking sheet and shoved them in the oven. Eventually the mere presence of loved ones lightened my mood, and the dog did her best to help too. You can’t be around a sweet-natured Lab for long and still be a jerk; it’s not possible.

That night I saw a few commercials about Mother’s Day. I’m not a big fan of that holiday, but combined with the time spent in the store earlier made me think of Mom and how she could curse anyone under the table. Instead of influencing me to do the same, it turned me off completely. I guess in her own way, Mom taught me a valuable lesson.

If that guy has kids, I hope they learn there are millions of other words to choose from to express themselves. Since I met the guy, I’ve thought of a few dozen but I’ll keep them to myself.