Column: "Fat people gotta go. They're contagious"

(Denny Crane, attorney, on Boston Legal)

By Margi Washburn

There used to be what some of us girls call a “foo-foo” restaurant downtown on the corner of Tremont and Third. Posies and Pies had a proprietor named Pat, and served some of the best pie I’ve ever eaten.

I popped in about twice a week and usually ordered a burnt hamburger with extra pickles, fries, a diet Coke and a piece of pie. Whenever Pat got my order, she’d yell out, “I know who’s here!” I loved that place.

One day I was sitting there, my food freshly delivered, when a quartet of slim, well-dressed men and women arrived. As they passed my table, the two women glanced at my lunch and made a face. I know that face.

Basically it says that the person ordering that kind of meal is destroying their body and probably deserves to look lumpy and out of shape. I could’ve predicted the four of them would order small salads with their dressing on the side, and that’s what they did.

I’ve always cared a little too much what others think, and that day was no different. I could feel their eyes upon me and suddenly I wanted to be anywhere else. Then things took an interesting turn.

That was back in the day, as they say, when smokers were welcome to light up just about anywhere, and that is exactly what at least one of these folks did. The smoke glided up and over and made its way to my table.

Now I’m not knocking smokers; in fact, I second-hand smoke almost two packs a day myself. I’m just saying, why don’t folks who criticize big people take a good, long look at their own life and lifestyle before passing judgment on others?

I guess what got this whole thing started was when I heard some (ahem) well-meaning folks point out that certain elected officials and some city employees were, well, fat. They didn’t couch their comments in politically-correct terms, and they insisted that their observations were influenced by the latest reports on obesity. No one came to the defense of these people, and my own face turned red on their behalf.

I put that episode out of my mind, and wouldn’t you know it, something happened over the weekend to bring it back to mind. We were in Davenport and I was meandering through a mega-store’s electronics department. I love technology, and my eyesight isn’t all that great, and I carry a big purse. Add it up: big woman, big purse and putting my face a little too close to the merchandise and pretty soon you realize you’re being followed around by a nervous young clerk who thinks you’re going to run off with the store’s goodies. He may as well have announced over the public address system: “Fat woman with big purse in aisle 3!” He seemed much more relaxed when I walked away and no alarms went off.

I’ve walked into upscale clothing stores with slim family members and friends, and while the clerks are polite, I’ve noticed that they steer me toward a chair to wait while they attend to the others.

Then, there’s the on-going fictionalized case of the employee fired by William Shatner’s Denny Crane character on Boston Legal. The reason? She’s fat, says Denny, and he claims he has the gene that will do the same to him if he doesn’t get rid of the woman. He told his best friend Alan that fat people have to go, that they’re contagious. Then he asks Alan to defend him in the upcoming court case. This I have to see.

I’ll be tuned in next Tuesday night at 9 p.m. because I have to find out if there is a defense for treating overweight people with disrespect. Who knows? Maybe all of the perfect people out there in the world who have no bad habits or room for improvement can teach us folks a thing or two.

Or, perhaps we can finally get through to some of them and they’ll understand that we are so much more than our appearance. It’s just that our faults are a bit more visible than theirs.