“I believe that words have power. They weigh a ton.” (House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, March 26, 2010)
Observations from the past week
It happened two days in a row. I was out of sorts over some personal problems, and one situation in particular was eating at me. Someone I love shared that a relative of hers had kicked a small dog. “The little guy lifted his leg and peed on his boot, and he got booted across the floor,” she told me.
I saw this happen in my mind’s eye and I could feel the anger toward this person I’d never met coursing through me. Questions swirled. If this monster of a man could kick a small dog (a Yorkie, as it turned out), what else was he capable of? Did he abuse his wife, his children? How many times had he kicked the dog? They had other dogs; did he hurt them too?
Maybe it’s a good thing this guy lived at least an hour away or I may have gone back to my old ways and tried to do something about this. I tend to get in way over my head when I try to come to the defense of victims, whether they’re animals, small children, the elderly. So I tried to put this out of my mind but I couldn’t.
The next day I was still bursting into tears at odd times as the mental image of the scene above replayed, along with the possibilities of what his children were experiencing and learning from their father’s behavior. On the way to Walmart to pick up a couple of things, I began crying again. “You’re going to have to go in,” I told hubby. He nodded, no questions asked. He knew how much I was hurting.
After he left the car, I leaned back and closed my eyes. In less than a minute I heard them. A young dad and mom and their child made their way to an older car. A brightly wrapped toy was perched behind the child in the cart. I’m not comfortable writing the exact conversation here, but trust me when I tell you that it was littered with F-bombs from both parents.
But that’s not all. Mom had to threaten her son with this: “If you don’t get your butt in the car seat, I’m throwin’ this toy right out the window!” I’m not sure why she couldn’t have said something like, “Remember, you need to buckle yourself up in the car seat so you’ll be safe, honey.” I guess she was in a hurry to continue her colorful conversation with the man in the family who was uncouth enough to gather up a wad of saliva and hurl it onto the parking lot.
After this all-American family left, another cart rumbled by. This time, a mom and daughter made their way to their car singing a song and laughing. There was no swearing, there were no threats, just fun and smiles and laughter. Wow, I thought, talk about contrasts.
The second time for this experience came at noon yesterday at our local Dairy Queen. A frazzled grandmother and her granddaughter and grandson were finishing lunch. Here’s the gist of the conversation, courtesy of Grandma:
“I can’t afford this. Mommy can’t afford it either.”
“What’dya put ice in your hot chocolate for? You just made it cold. I just won’t get you nothin’ here no more. Period.”
Grandma went on and on and on about how tight money was, how wasteful the kids were, and how hard mommy had to work, not to mention how tired she herself was. These were kids about five or six years old getting an economics lesson far before they needed to but the woman couldn’t seem to stop talking about how scarce money was.
Almost as soon as they left, a grandma and grandpa arrived with their granddaughters. Mommy joined them a bit later but before she got there, the first four talked about their morning, laughed, ordered lunch and planned their next weekend. There was no grown-up talk about wasting money, money shortages, that sort of thing. You couldn’t help but smile at the fun they were obviously having.
I worry about the kids whose parents show by their behavior that life is scary, hopeless and absent of laughter. I think about the little ones who hear coarse language more often than not, who watch the adults in their lives treat others with no respect. That goes for parents who hold grudges forever and a day, who wouldn’t know forgiveness if it bit them and who make people pay dearly for every mistake they ever made.
One more thing I observed recently has to do with our President. The quote at the top of this page came on the heels of an appearance by our country’s leader to expound on the passage of health care reform on his stop in Iowa. I watched a clip on various television newscasts that made me angry and sad at the same time and I’m sure most of you saw it too. The health care reform had already passed, and here was our leader mocking those in the opposing party who had been against the legislation. He laughed as he spoke about Armageddon, and the crowd laughed with him. It was a sign of immaturity in the one man I hoped would never show it.
With our First Lady championing the physical health of our children, I hope she caught what her husband said and I really hope she gave him a talking-to (away from their daughters). She should tell him that he did not set a good example when he made fun of his opponents. A healthy character is a very good thing.
And if Mrs. Obama somehow missed this teaching moment, maybe Ms. Pelosi could repeat what she said last Friday. For once, I agree with her.
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