This, that and the other

(This photo/artwork adorns the cover of my novel, "The Elephant in the Room", a work I completed last November for National Novel Writing Month.)

The past few weeks have been a bit stressful.

First, we were hoping hard to hear from our oldest son. The last time we saw him was before Christmas in 2002. The last time we heard his voice was on the telephone, and that was March 21, 2003. Then, of course, he wrote a letter, mostly intended for me, his mother, and all I can say is: We never, ever, ever taught him to speak to his parents that way.

Still, a son is a son and we love him. We wish we knew where he was, if he's alive, sick or well, happy or not - anything, just to stop the wondering. I'm not sure his dad does the same, but I often get my hopes up around special times, like anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving. We wonder if he is working somewhere, if he's still in the United States. It's heartbreaking to have his boys ask us if we know where he is only to have them obviously disbelieve you when you tell them you have no idea where their dad is.

Second, we've had a lot of sudden expense and other trials over the past few weeks. The boiler shut down two nights in a row this week, just as the temps hit double-digits BELOW ZERO. One morning it was 53 in the house, the next morning it was 49. We got things going again, and we're keeping the thermostat at 67. Kind of chilly, especially this time of year.

Third, our like-new tire kept going flat on us (on the car) so we had to have it repaired. Funny story: hubby put Fix-A-Flat in the tire so he could get it to the shop to be repaired only to find out that if one uses that product, the store usually refuses to repair the tire. They're more than happy to offer to install a new tire, but they won't repair the current one. We finally found someone, and it seems to be OK now, but it set us back a bit.

Fourth, yesterday the washer went out. Something was buzzing and the smell was awful. Almost all of my work clothes were in the dirty cold water and now the washer is torn apart in the back room and the clothes are wet and I need to hop in the car and toddle off to the laundromat in this frigid winter weather. Fun.

Fifth - this brings up the wandering thoughts I've been having about finding out I have a few half-siblings who are not hurting a bit for money. Mom was married to their dad for a very brief time, and after Dad died, I got zippo. Nothing. I'm mentioned in his will for a few grand but there were stipulations that had something to do with his wife also passing away. She has refused any contact with me; for some reason, she just seems to hate me, as if I had anything to do with my own birth and existence.

I found that my half-siblings are living quite the life. I even wrote to my half-sis once, including my maiden name along with my married one. She was pleasant enough, and quick to answer my real estate questions, but she did not acknowledge our sisterhood so I guess all my sibs hate me too. Or at least they're choosing to ignore me as though I don't exist.

Sometimes, life isn't fair that way and we just have to suck it up and deal with it. The way I am handling this is to write my memoirs. I've taught others how to do that, and I've even helped a family member or two with theirs. It's my turn now, and I truly believe that the only way to get all of this stuff out of my head before it drives me around the bend is to get it down on paper.

It'll be such a relief. I recommend that everyone give it a try.