(Wouldn't you know it...we're gathered together (once again) for a memorial, a passing on of two people we all loved. Shouldn't we gather more often to celebrate while we're still here on Earth instead of waiting until it's too late? I'm just asking....)
Last Friday at around 5:30 a.m., I woke up knowing I had a full schedule. Work, meeting with a business partner, grocery shopping and some other agenda items I can’t recall at the moment – all of these were waiting for an enthusiastic and sharp-witted person. I’ll admit to the enthusiasm part; after all, I love my job and I’m thrilled to be involved in creating a new business. The grocery shopping was a ho-hum thing but necessary.
Let’s just say, I was going to be busy.
I’ve come to hate the word “busy”. Too many relationships have fallen by the wayside simply because folks have declared themselves to be too “busy” to call, drop by or contact me by any means available. What they’re saying, in essence, is that I am no longer important enough to spare even 300 seconds (that’s five minutes out of the 1,440 in every 24-hour period). Nice. No wonder there are so many fractured families and former friendships in our lives these days.
Oh, and I’m one of the guilty ones.
As I grabbed the purse, laptop and a briefcase Friday morning, I noticed that there was a sharp pebbly-type thing in my shoe. Instead of putting everything down and taking care of the problem, I wiggled my toes to move the annoyance around and headed out.
Work at the office went smoothly that morning, except for the pebble periodically making its presence felt. A toe wiggle and the pain went away. Time to meet with the business partner.
We spent most of the time sitting, talking and typing. She headed out the door first and I followed, with much more on my mind than I arrived with plus one more thing: the pebble was front and center once again. And I was too busy to mess with it. I gritted my teeth and headed for the grocery store.
As I wiggled my toes and perused the aisles, I wondered why I didn’t just take the time to take off my shoe and get rid of the tiny rock. The answer, I guess, was that I’d get to it when I got home. I could stand it until then.
I made it to a few more places before pulling into the driveway. I hauled in the bags, plus everything I’d taken with me that morning. A look at the clock told me I’d been gone over five hours. Not once during that time did I take a few seconds to stop, take off my shoe and shake it. I was too busy.
It’s no fun to admit this, but it wasn’t until a couple of hours later that I took care of the problem. I think I was fighting the pebble throughout the day just to show it who was boss. And now I know.
The story of the pebble in the shoe is real, and it did happen last Friday. But long before that, I could use that analogy to describe relationships that we let fall by the side of the road of life simply because we’re too busy to maintain them. We think the other person will understand; gosh, we have so many commitments! People are counting on us to do this, that and the other for them so, they’re sorry but you’re just going to have to wait until they have time for you in their life again.
But here’s the kicker: what if we wait so long, what if we let our hectic lifestyles kill off what really matters? Will those people still be waiting for you, or will they have turned away for good? You’ve got to know that you can only ignore loved ones for so long before they simply give up and go away for good.
The sad part of this story is that some will read it, see themselves and vow to change. They’ll promise to make that phone call and ask their brother, sister, aunt, niece, uncle, nephew, cousin or friend to lunch but they’ll fall flat on their face as soon as someone or something comes along that simply must have their attention.
Others will read this and not see themselves at all. Or, they’ll think it’s up to the other person to contact them and the inevitable march to a loss of closeness will continue until neither of them care one whit about the other.
As for me, I’ve made a list of those I’ve lost touch with. Thanks in large part to an annoying pebble in my shoe, I know better than to use the excuse of being too busy to ignore the most important part of life: my family and my friends.
Pebbles rock.
1 comment:
These are my thoughts exactly. I know I have been guilty of being the busy one. After both of my parents died in the same year I made a promise to myself to take the time for friends and family. I am proud of myself that I think I have kept on track. Sometimes I feel that my professional life has suffered a bit for it, but you can't take those acomplishments with you when you die. All you really have left is what you leave behind in your personal relationships-and how you have touched other people for the better. Thanks for this column.
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