Optimize your "dash"

I wrote this column and turned it in early this time around. I had no idea that Uncle Mick would pass away after I wrote it. I'll tell you something, though, and that is our Uncle Mick optimized the stuffing out of his "dash". He lived, laughed, loved and if it wasn't for him, hubby and I would probably have never met. I shudder to think about that. Thank you, Uncle Mick, and please...say hi to Dad, Luke, and everyone else who went on ahead. We'll see you someday. Love always, Margi



Memorial Day is in the rearview mirror and we seem to be hurtling toward the Fourth of July. Yes, June is here but as most of us know it seems to take all of two minutes before it’s time to change the monthly calendar page. Slight exaggeration, true, but time does fly.

Most folks are happy just to be outdoors. We break free from our homes and workplaces and spill out into parks and malls and vacation spots. Happy thoughts break into our daydreams as we imagine life in the fun and sun.

That is, unless you’re mired deep in a struggle you didn’t ask for and would gladly give away. Just because it’s almost summertime and the livin’ is supposed to be easy doesn’t mean our friends and family aren’t dealing with some major issues.

One night before I headed for bed, I hesitated outside my little office. Something told me to check my e-mail, and yet I felt dread. But I’m a nosy sort (still) so in I went and it wasn’t long before I wished I hadn’t.

There were e-mails about friends and family whose illnesses had worsened, along with a death of a friend and former family member. Another message nearly brought a headache but I pushed it aside to deal with the more important needs of the night. It was time for prayer and sleep; one happened right away, the other took a long while.

The Sunday before Memorial Day, I watched a church service that honored members who had passed away since last year at this time. The pastor read from a poem by Linda Ellis, called The Dash.

The dash refers to the line between the dates on a tombstone. A person is born, hence the first date, and of course the second date represents the year he or she died. It stands to reason that the dash stands for what this person did with their life.

I listened to this verse with interest:

“So, when your eulogy's being read/with your life's actions to rehash.../would you be proud of the things they say/about how you spent your dash?”

It made me thankful that I’ve at least written something about my life thus far, and it made me wish all the more that those I care about would write about their lives too. Our “dashes” are worth the effort, and if you can contribute life stories about your loved ones who have passed on, please consider doing that too.

Here are a few triggers to get you going: Jot down birth dates, family members, holiday memories, houses you/they have lived in, reunions, birthday parties, favorite songs/TV shows, etc., pets, hobbies, school friends. There are plenty more ideas and once you get going you’ll be amazed at what else pops into your head.

Yes the weather has turned for the better and it’s good to spend time outdoors and away from the TV. Still, when you have a few minutes in the early morning or at the end of the day, why not start the story of your “dash” before any more time passes?

Here’s another favorite part of the poem:

“For it matters not, how much we own;/the cars....the house...the cash./What matters is how we live and love/and how we spend our dash.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.