Playing hooky from work the weird way

I'm with Sarah Jane...I couldn't believe what I was hearing either.



It would seem that the movie watchers in our home have been exposed to some rather odd storylines in the past couple of weeks.

We took in the strange “Shutter Island” starring Leonardo DiCapprio and some other fine actors. I loved that show and my better half thought it was a total waste of time. The storyline stayed with me for days, and when I recall the ending I get a shiver.

The other night we saw “Informant!” with Matt Damon. Let’s just say the main character was no Jason Bourne, another Matt Damon role, but boy, this guy can tell fibs that’ll run rings around just about anyone. I used the present tense here because this story was based on a real-life dude that used to be a biochemist for Archer-Daniels-Midland out of Decatur. We were still shaking our heads the next day over the intricate webs of deceit this guy spun that took in the FBI and countless other mopes. Way cool, unless, I suppose, you were on the bad end of one of his schemes.

Movies are one thing, but what happens if you happen to stumble upon strange goings-on in your own family?

I’ll never forget the time I got a phone call asking me if I knew that my aunt and uncle had died. The caller mentioned the first names right away, and it had been over five years for my uncle, and less than three for my aunt so the part about them dying wasn’t a shock. The shock was that their obituaries were in the newspaper that day.

I stood where I was and blinked as the caller went on to say how sorry they were, blah, blah, blah. I’ve watched enough episodes of Twilight Zone to know when my world is beginning to tilt in that direction. I couldn’t wait to get off the phone and find that newspaper.

A few minutes later I had the proof in hand, along with an open mouth and a head full of unanswered questions. Though I love Stephen King stories, I was sane enough even then to know I wasn’t in one. A mystery, yes, but one that would probably be a lot of fun to solve.

It did turn out to be fun, and we got lots of laughs as we made the necessary phone calls to unravel the mystery that is my family. There was the obituary writer and funeral homes and pastors, and finally we had our answer: A cousin who was in a bit of hot water for taking too much time off of work decided he wanted even more “vacation” so he figured he’d rerun the obituaries of his grandparents to get some funeral leave. Now that’s using the old noggin’, wouldn’t you say?

I’d never heard of this before, and though on the surface it sounds like it might get the job done, it didn’t happen. I wondered how he thought up the idea in the first place. Did he see it in a movie? Read it in a book? Create it out of thin air?

There was also the matter of finding a newspaper (not the one you’re holding) that would print the false obit, and before that he had to find a funeral home that would hear his tale of woe and send the obit to the one and only newspaper he had chosen.

Ah, family.

As I thought about the weird movies and my oddly endearing yet misguided cousin, I came to the conclusion that I’ll likely never get bored with so many possibilities at hand to keep me entertained.